Saturday 22 December 2012



Activity 9.3 – They were all together in one room and she felt tired and claustrophobic.

Her fathers eyes  were nailed to the cheap floor, fiddling with invisible things. Silent, staring into nowhere, Elsie still had her mothers heart monitor pounding in her head, causing the walls to close in.
 ‘God its dim in here, isn’t it.’ Elsie bristled
‘Sit down love, the lights are fine.’ Her Father looked up eyes red, the strain etched across his face.
‘Okay’ for once she did as told and sat on the god-damn awful chair ‘what happened.’ She felt slightly strange in asking.
‘She just didn’t wake-up.’ Her dad pinched the tears from his eyes ‘happen sooner or later, suppose. ’ The corner lamp flickered and the walls loomed over all the more.
‘She’s not in any pain at least.’ Elsie tugged slightly on her dads shoulder, she really wanted to throw that bloody lamp across the room, she gave it a quick shake ‘things going out, stupid thing.’
‘I shouldn’t be in here, I should be by her side.’ He nodded at the lamp ‘needs a new bulb is all. No point you doing that.’
The lamp buzzed for a second then gave up and died

She loved him



She loved him-
Nadine assumed the position she loved the most, cuddled-up around old’ Bill. Her arms shaped around his barrel of a stomach, his ‘ wonderful, cuddle hump’ that secured her. Her head gentle against his chest, the warmth and security filled her up. She loved him, the way a lonely soul loves a families fireplace in winter. He knew when the whites of her knuckles signified a childhood  memory had resurfaced, he’d then kiss her cheek or eyebrow, giving her a small ‘there, there’ shake.  She loved him, he was her peace, his old style wisdom evened out the high’s and low’s . In  bed the warmth of his body soaked through her, with great pleasure she’d rub her finger in small circles transferring  sweat from one to the other, sharing as she always needed to. Old’ Bill would laugh at those little actions at times, though not in any cruel way, he’d kiss her and stroke her hair. Before she’d cover herself in the blanket of his flesh and he’d stretch one arm across her shoulder, the other on the small of her back, like a loving truss that eased her into the next day.        

Wednesday 12 December 2012

Keith Gray speech on censorship ...

Please click the link, the wonderful Keith Gray gives his insights into the trouble of writing teen fiction. The censorship and quiet banning by the mumsy gatekeepers of school libraries and such.

 

www.pen.org/blog/?p=17085

Monday 10 December 2012

Death of a marriage



  Activity 10.1 –The Wife -

Life’s to short, is that really true… Maybe those who say such things haven’t lived properly and therefore yearn for more years than they have left. I, personally think our span is enough, I’m forty-five, no age at all but i’ve disappeared without trace, sunk underneath the daily mud we wade through. The days don’t float or zip like Zoeys, sixteen and all knowing, thinks she can do what she wants, and near enough does, another two whole years of having to survive her, god sake. And Tom, burst from the seams of his bedroom, angry at us, at the world, because we couldn’t afford his University fee’s. He just packed and took off, a girl called Eve, somewhere in the borders. So easy, he just packed one bag, and slam, gone… good luck I said, sorry for failing you, I got a small kiss for that.
Me, every night for the past three years I’ve sat up in the dark, mulling over this shit life with him, that cold lump of him, snoring and farting beside me for the past twenty-five years, I can’t do this anymore. Wonder, Tom did it, one bag and whoosh. Is it that easy just get out of bed, dress quietly leave and knock on my sisters door saying ‘Help, I’m dead.’ She’ll have that look on her face, what about Tony, fuck him I’ll say, what about the children, fuck’em both, I’ll say, then fall asleep crying in the spare room.
There, packed, that was easy. The doors just as easy, the first bus in twenty minutes again, its easy…lights on she’ll be seeing Bob off to work, packing his lunch, like always… knock, that’s easy. She doesn’t seem surprised, i smile weakly at her… ‘Help,’ I say ‘ I’m dead.’ 

The Husband - 

I almost said ‘what the hell are you doing’ But kept shut. It’s over, we’ve been over for years… I can’t wait till she just slips away, probably to her sisters. She is beautiful, those lines on her face actually make her more elegant, it brings out the depth in her brown eyes… I want to kiss her, trace along her lifelines and hold her the way I did when we were alive… but the fleeting second has passed. I’ll find someone else, same type but different.
She’s gone. Look out the window, see her direction. Sisters, thought so.
We loved each other once, till about three years ago, she started withdrawing, went cold on me. She started dressing in the bathroom, keeping her body from me, the accidental flash of breast but nothing more. No affection, no communication, nothing, she just sat up nights staring in the darkness. God the contempt she’s treated me with when i tried, with those luxury weekend spa-hotels. What did I get back, a condescending smirk, the type women produce when they feel men are nothing more than five years old with a picture for the fridge door. God damn it, what else was I supposed to do… there was fuck all wrong with those weekend breaks, other couples were there, actually enjoying themselves. The wives weren’t looking down with pity on their husbands. That couple from Frome, relaxed, laughing and giggling, hell, they’ve been married for the same amount of time as us… £1000 quid those weekends cost me, she didn’t give a monkey’s. I sat there with a cold fish of a wife who had no interest whatsoever. I knew then we were dead to each other, I want someone new, someone who doesn’t look at me like I don’t come up to scratch… 




The solicitor- 

I’ve been handling divorces for fifteen years now, and I can spot a couple in the throes of despair a mile off. Smell them like a rat smells rotted peelings in the trash, sniff sniff and I’m there, card ready after I do the ‘bump.
                Six months ago in Morrison’s I spotted the Adam’s, three of them, was four, now three. Snooped around a bit and found the son had high-tailed it to the Borders. Ignored the daughter, whiny, annoying so blocked her out. Mum and Dad, I search the eyes, and the eyes were cold, dead, battered over the head, fish dead, dead skimmed and de-boned for the eating. Dead I tell ye, dead, time for the ‘bump.’
                Say’s hello, I’m Tony, two streets along, No 42 St. Mary’s close, ah yeh I says back nodding, thought I seen you both around from No.14 Tooting St. Nice area, I says they nod like blanks in a gun, mine all mine, I’ll handle this divorce, I gave it six months and guess the wife’ll leave, they always do. Men cheat,  wife’s leave.
                Me, a Solicitor, handle all sorts, I says, divorces, oh I know it’s always a shame, but they don’t need to be painful. Nah, i says, pride myself in being gentle, smoothing things over, I’m the UN of understanding. But I do other stuff as well, usual solicitor stuff, here’s my card, if ever you need me, you know wills and stuff. 


 


Activity 5.1 – Character creation Big F




Activity 5.1 –    Character creation       Big F

Big F showered, reckoned this was the first time he been clean since the crash, well clean physically. For this new life was his apology, dead that’s how he saw himself, a token ghost for those millions whose life he had stolen from under them. Then Mousy showed-up, poor kid. He wanted to cradle her, take away the whitened slapped face that presented itself to him as he listened to the world service on his dusty old radio. She had recoiled at the sight of him, he didn’t blame her, but he knew hard work and how to win over. Busying Himself he fixed together two boxes, cut’em into one for her. Though his self-awareness grew under her sore eyes, awkward, his blacked body and smelly rags barely covered him, she winced again at his zipless trousers; humiliated he hurried to cover himself up. Before he didn’t care, but the fire in his jellied eyes was lit, Redemption stood before him, a healer; oh how he needed one of them. In return for his box making she got him some underwear and clothes, and the little money left paid for his shower in Paddington Station.
Big F stared in the mirror then started shaving, he hated looking at his face, his once smooth skin was broken and blotched, but there were still hints. He’d fight for her, as father figure or lover he didn’t care; for his heart no longer felt heavy and cold, stealing her silver locket back was redemption's first step. Getting presentable now, Big F smiled, he felt his system rearm bullets into both barrels, his cut-throat know-how gleamed from his grand city education of all the way down, no not down… over, over to being one of the dirty box sleeping nobodies. Yeh he smiled feeling his mind become like a jar of sharpened pencils. Starting with Mousy, with this beatin’up kid he’d make amends… he finished shaving and tears fell, could saving this one child really make-up for what he’d done to the world?